As I promised my very first journal feature, dedicated to all my watchers thanks for all the support across the last couple of years and to all my recent watchers thank you, I look forward to getting to know you... I hope I haven't missed anyone,








Hogwarts House Haiku“Wit beyond measure
Is a man’s greatest treasure,”
Say the Ravenclaws.
“Only those pure-born
Should enter Hogwarts to learn,”
So say Slytherins.
“Courage and honor
Set the Gryffindors apart,”
As Godric’s House knows.
“Friendship and hard work
Help make magic successful,”
The Hufflepuffs tout. Dumbledore HaikuDumbledore has said,
“Nitwit! Oddment! Blubber! Tweak!”
Ron said, “He’s mental.” McGonagall HaikuThat McGonagall,
She’s a right smart old tabby.
Just don’t piss her off.

Mature Content

The rabbit has comeThe little white rabbit has come
It's time for tea
I wonder where the hatter went?
Was that meant for me?
Perhaps that was just a hint
Alice went through the glass
And I fell on my bum
I can't find that last pass
I guess I'm really done
The Cheshire stole the scepter
And I was on the run..
He put it in the rector
All in good fun
Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum
Are always in the way
Went and drank all the rum
Still twas a rather interesting day
If I find the Cheshire can I go back home?
Perhaps I'll take the thunder
And continue where I roam
With a portal full of wonder














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Heart1Oh dear,
Look at that,
My heart’s made the leap.
It jumped out the plane with no parachute.
I’m gonna laugh when you splat, heart,
And there’s no way in hell I’m jumping
          out after you.
I’ll watch you fall, I’ll watch you fly:
I tried to warn you…
Splat!
Haha!
See, I said I’d laugh, and I did.
I’m a girl of my word.
‘Cause I’m not in love,
It’s not me that
Cares. So Many Ways To Die...Death is everywhere. I think it’s really funny.
Everyone’s going ON and ON about what a gosh-darn PERFECT world we have, when the very EXISTENCE of this world proves them WRONG. And no one sees it. THAT is what’s funny.
MAYBE my brother threw a FRISBEE on the roof, and I climb up to GET it, but – oops! I FALL three stories and DIE.
MAYBE it’s RAINING, and I’m RUNNING because I’m LATE, and my BACKPACK is thumping on my back. Because it’s raining, there are PUDDLES, and since I’m CLUMSY, I FALL. I bonk my head and get KNOCKED OUT, and I would have been FINE if my face weren’t in a PUDDLE... But it IS, so I DIE.
MAYBE I’ve just gotten some CANDY with my friends, and I POP one in my mouth. And then maybe my friends will say something FUNNY, and I’ll start to LAUGH. And since I still have that CANDY in my mouth, I INHALE it, and CHOKE. Maybe if someone had given me the HEIMLICH MANEUVER I’d have been OK, but maybe everyone jus Does It Hurt To Die?‘’Thcuse me, thir, doeth it hurt to die?’
When the young child asked me that, gapped teeth peeking out to the sunlight to briefly glint, I had not given him a truthful answer. I knew this now, though I had not then. I had told him, ‘No, child, it does not hurt to die. Never.’
This was a lie. I knew this for its truth for the same reason that anyone knows anything: for having seen it, experienced it.
I had passed through the village of the child because I, and many others like me, were going to war. To fight a thing called ‘the enemy’, which no one really understood.
I understood now. ‘The enemy’ was big, and powerful, and terrible. And it had destroyed us.
Thoroughly.
I could just hear them with the one ear I still had, over the blood soaked knoll, bearing witness to their own few fallen.  Even in their sorrow, they sounded truly fearsome.
I was among the many casualties of the battle, among the mangled friends and comrades and str How To ProtectWhen Sara Gancher was assigned as my lab partner, my reaction basically boiled down to ‘Aw, shit.’ In a school of 4000, she somehow managed to be the #1 target of almost every viable bully. ‘Bully’ is a pretty juvenile concept, but whatever. That’s what they were.
Our school is divided into six basic categories: ‘Stoners’, ‘drug dealers’ (see ‘stoners’. Kinda the same thing), ‘preps’, ‘nerds’, ‘goths/emos’, and ‘other’. ‘Other’ basically refers to those, oh, 3500 or so students who belong to multiple groups. There are also about 100 kids who don’t fit into any category, and therefore don’t have a label. Sara Gancher is one of these. (I’m an ‘other’: mostly nerd, sometimes prep, and stoner at parties.)
Anyway, back to the story. Sara’s just one of those people who makes you feel totally guilty for avoiding her, but not guilty enough to actually hang out

Mature Content

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Sapphire Eyes
Tension rises in this house of loneliness
Melancholic joker boy
Trapped in sapphire flames
A freak hears the cry
Now she's trapped too
What did I do to deserve this?
A lesson perhaps?
Or just my paper-thin heart?
My emotions escape me
I know no end to the tears
And insufferable pain
Such a strange feeling, little butterfly
Do you share it too?
Am I your flower?
Or am I just another weed, useful for the moment?
In search of healing,
An end to mourning
Two souls become one
Together, weaker this time
Anger, love, pain;
Are all the same thing after all
Just choke on the nothingness
You'll soon be in Paradise
Leave me here to wallow in sorrow
I'll be okay, I always have Disaster mindTossing right , hold on tight as we swerve left now
can't be tamed not even by the self
Cherish my stony whisper to my reflection
Shadows chasing me through a cobwebbed hall
Her enchantment drowns my existence
No one cares, neither do I for that matter
I've lost sight of the meaning of desire
Shatter our lonely tears
Ms Blade does a great job of hiding the sorrow
She asks me something, discreetly
I answer with my heart wide open
Eyes closed, mother runs from life
No where to turn, except the ink and scissors
Carry on burning the trail, I will keep the ashes in my jar of sickness
Pray now dear, for we are about to land
A secret garden filled with memories of death
Think back to positivity, a non-existent happy time
Huddling tightly, kiss my scars dear breathless lover
Shudder with me now lonely one
In the moonlight, everything is sweeter
Reading the marks on your neck , I sigh
What has brought us here?
This loathing world who shuns us from togetherness
Reject them, for we know the truth ForgottenSighing deeply, I close my eyes.
What is there left now?
You said, "Don't let this experience change who you are"
Scared I'm going to do something stupid?
When your heart leaks
and you can't find the plug
When the only thing you believed in
has been destroyed, what can be done?
Lying there, I ask myself
What am I doing?
There is nothing left.
The food has no taste
Sweet becomes sour
My life has been devoured
by the vicious monster
that you've become.
Fire-breathing cockroach,
you've scratched open these scars.
I thought I was loved,
I am a deluded freak drowning in nothingness.
The agony of the blood pouring down my face
is beautiful, unlike your cut-throat words.
Slice open my chest,
Eat my heart and choke on the cobwebs encasing it
Swallow your lies and smell the empty promises.
I hope you are feeling good up there
in your golden watch tower with your servants.
As I lay here, turning blue with loneliness. TasuketeBlood stained cheek
Scarred forever
Nothing special
Just another waste of time
No one listens no matter how hard you cry
Writing meaningless lines to express the pain
A creepy child seems nothing but shy
Withering to death in the lotus rain
Insufferable agony
Searching for the answers
Cherish my masochistic thoughts
A dagger through your tongue
Shall we?
Take off the mask
No more lies
So many times,
I tried to die.
The pain you inflicted on me
I will never forgive
Why do you still rule my head?
Nowhere to be seen yet you own my soul.
Shattering the glass
And draining the last drops
Is so bittersweet
The pain is glorious compared to my rotting heart.
I don't want help
Yet I pray for someone to listen
Who wants a psycho?
Torn in two, not equally of course
Siamese twins breaking apart
Why does it have to be this way?
What am I becoming?
I rest my faith in no-one
I see no future
I see nothing anymore
It has been this way for 2 years now
There is nowhere to hide
Just my useless art
Just my









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SoulmatesWhile our lips play with the feeling of them touching,
Ours hands are in our pockets,
And our minds begin clutching.
Can you hear all of those rockets?
Our minds have intertwined,
Our hearts have melded into one.
Something i dont think I could ever leave behind.
We are the sun,
and the moon, and the stars.
We can fly through the skies,
arms linked together, traveling through mars.
With the two of us, there can never be lies.
You and I belong together forever,
Something we will never need to endeavor. Suicide of My HeartI am on this bridge
About to break, about to fall
Everything is silent for just one second,
Before my life falls apart.
Do I have time to save it?
Do I even want to save it?
By now ive completely lost all control of my emotions.
I hear my heart beat,
thump thump
It gets louder,
THUMP THUMP
it drowns out the sound of your screams.
Its like my heart beat is counting down the seconds
And then nothing,....
A complete, utter silence.
I can barely hear my own thoughts.
It is all over now.
Half way down i start to think more clearly.
Its that few seconds, that few seconds of agonizing pain,
When i start to think about the ones i love.
THe ones that kept me alive, the ones that were always there for me
Now im letting them down,
Im throwing everything away.
Its just my few more seconds.
3,2,1.........0
The count down is over.
Silence,
A peaceful bliss.
Blackness,
Everything is over now.
But i found peace in this,
Death is followed by happiness.









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